Wednesday, November 28, 2007


Yesterday I went to see the movie "Enchanted".

I did not expect that I would like it that much, but SURPRISE!
It is a GREAT movie.

I LOVE how Princess Gisele comes to New York (the timely world of doubt and fear) through traveling through a "black hole". Finding herself as a stranger in "hell".

The amazing thing is: she stays completely true to herself and what she is: a Princess from beyond this world. She is so innocent and happy, that everyone thinks she is a crazy person, except of course the little girl and the ones who are recognizing her frequency -my favorite scene in the park.
She does not doubt herself one bit. She just knows who she is.
So everyone starts to join her in that and is giving love a chance.
It is such a demonstration of singularity as I experience the awakening for me. WOW!

Go see it!

If you ever feel the urge to intensify your experience of A Course in Miracles come visit Endeavor Academy.

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Monday, November 26, 2007

Thank God for Ass Kicking

So, I got a little ass kicking from Lisa today. She checks my blog every day and i am not writing.
BUT I want to learn how to write. BUT I can't learn if I don't PRACTICE. I have to give it a try. Even though I might think I suck at writing or I have nothing to say, or there is something more important and so on.
Sounds just like A Course in Miracles: I do not have to believe the lesson, or understand it, BUT I have to be WILLING to PRACTICE. TO GIVE. Time. Exposure.

In fact there is something going on in my mind for a few days/weeks or forever/whatever.
And up front I have to apologize for all those who's expectations I don't meet or that think i do not understand their problems or have the feeling I am a bit rough.
I am truly sorry, if I caused you pain.

I LOVE you.

I truly do.

I am desperate for truth. So, when you call me, I assume you are desperate for truth. It is a matter of life or death for you.
I assume you are asking for help and are ready to receive it along with me. We will ask together. Leave EVERYTHING behind. All concerns, problems, judgments, illness, the past, the future, experiences, fear, good, evil, EVERYTHING.
I understand we don't know how to do that.

This does not matter.

This is where the miracle takes place. I can't do it, but He will IF I LET HIM.
So basically I have to be willing to shut up and trust in a plan not of my own making.

I have to make room for God to enter.

That's all. No biggy. That's what I truly believe: It is NO BIG DEAL.
But hey, you DEMAND that I listen to your story. That I enter into the past with you. Pitty you for the mess you are in.

Please bare with me: I love you for the reality in you. You are that. I LONG to join with you. BUT: I do not need to know your story, because your story is exactly like mine: You feel something has gone wrong, you don't know the way out, you feel you are going to get old, sick and die in the end. This is it. Period.
You might be caught in the specifics, but the bottom line is: you end up dead.

Good news is: you are already dead.

I just hope you called, because you want to live. You want to be ALIVE! Whatever it takes. You are looking for the solution.

A thousand times: GLADLY would I join with you in your willingness to find it.

I already know it's a total mess. So: Let's get out of here. Dust to our heels. Let God find us and be willing to trust that there is something bigger than my little self image that I made and that has nothing to do with God.

Nothing in this world is true. Listen to this: NOTHING.

So, why bother? WHY?????? Why ARE you calling?????

OK. So, I need this for myself. I need God, like the air I am breathing. Better yet: God is the air I am breathing.

God is found now.


In this very instant.

...and it has NOTHING to do with my story. It is not connected with it and never will be.

You are really ONLY abiding in Him. There is no world.

Yes. Healing is truly instantaneous and has nothing to do with time at all.

Thank God!

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Monday, November 12, 2007

There is no Conclusion to Life!

"What Jesus said is actually true. When you are in spiritual consciousness you can ask God for anything and get it. Only be sure that you are asking for something spiritual, for that is all that God has to give. And what is it that is spiritual? Nothing but God.

Therefore, ask for anything you want so long as you ask for God. It doesn’t make any difference what you ask for, only be sure you are asking for God. No one in the history of the world has ever prayed for God to give them the gift of Himself, the Gift of God, who has not received it.

Whereas people are sitting around praying for companionship, money, employment and they keep praying for days and then wonder why God did not see fit to answer their prayers. God only has Himself to give and that is all that you should pray for!"--Study & Meditation #24 from Joel Goldsmith, 1958

The mind training of the Course in Miracles teaches me to let go of ANY result here.
I do not know what my best interests are.

ONLY your relationship with God has any reality.

Master Teacher told me one day on the phone:
You are waiting for a conclusion. There isn't any.

That hit me right in the eye-and I started to see. I am so grateful!

Somewhere I was still waiting for something to occur in time. A conclusion to all my efforts and dedication to God. Sometime, when I will be rewarded for my good deeds and such.

Here on earth the conclusion is always death. You really think if you will be dying some day, you will be going to heaven. Death as your foundation for heaven. NO. You are dead right NOW believing that.

Heaven can ONLY be reached right NOW.

It is your mindfulness towards an alternative.

Not THIS anyway.

Believing you are a body and separate from God was a mistake. It has been corrected.

Finally you are not afraid anymore to trust in God with all you got and GLAD, that we are NOT getting what we are praying for.
It is not going to be how I think it should or will be.

Thank God!

It is always a surprise!
I love you. Mean it.

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Saturday, November 03, 2007

No School Today

This morning I did not go to school.

It is fantastic.

I don't want to talk to anyone or see anyone. I just want to go out and home to where I realy abide.

With God.

Fuck the world! Fuck MY world.

I forgot how much I LOVE to be just by myself
I am looking at that I AM always by myself, I have to laugh.
I should really say: I finally decided to return to my source and STOP DOING. Stop judging, stop projecting, stop sorting it out( by myself)).
Let it be new.

I don't know ANYTHING. My God, what a relieve.

I am listening to the song "Four Seasons In One day" and it says:
" Smiling as the shit comes down,
-You can tell a man from what he has to say.
Everything gets turned around-
I will risk my neck again, again...
You can take me where You will,
up the creek and through the mill,
like all the things you can't explain...

Oh well, here is his video, it has some really cool elements in it, like you are just walking in your own thoughts, in a holographic universe painted on a flat screen. It's also kind of dorky- hey, what the hell:

I am just sooo grateful to you.
-Sharing this one purpose with me.
Leaving this world behind and embarking on this adventure into the unknown known. This is the ONLY thing I want to focus on. The only thing I want to look upon in you, because this must be your purpose as well because there is no other. Nothing else is of interest or value.


Friday, November 02, 2007

Angel in the Postal Service

This is one of the kindest things I've ever experienced. I have no way to know who sent it, but there is a kind soul working in the dead letter office of the US postal service.

Our 14 year old dog, Abbey, died last month. The day after she died, my 4 year old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, God would recognize her. I told her that I thought we could so she dictated these words:

Dear God,
Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and is with you in heaven. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she got sick. I hope you will play with her. She likes to play with balls and to swim. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her you will know that she is my dog. I really miss her.
Love, Meredith.

We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it. Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to heaven. That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office. A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet. I told her that I thought He had.

Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, "To Meredith" in an unfamiliar hand. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, "When a Pet Dies." Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey & Meredith and this note:

Dear Meredith,
Abbey arrived safely in heaven.
Having the picture was a big help. I recognized Abbey right away.
Abbey isn't sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me just like it stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your dog. Since we don't need our bodies in heaven, I don't have any pockets to keep your picture in, so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by.

Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you. I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much. By the way, I am wherever there is love.

Love, God

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